李二狗 — @Meniny
if things had been different then we would be together now. or even still in contact every now and then. you are etched into my memory for a possible eternity and although it's been a while i still wonder what could have been
if i had been able to open up more and receive the love i believe you had for me. all the little things. i should have been more brave.
when we were together it was like i was about burst with all i felt for you. i didn't think that i could be in love, I didn't know what was happening. all i wanted was to lay with you forever. i wanted to have a life with you.
i know it's over now, but i want you to feel so much happiness that you could burst. that you have everything you ever wanted and somebody who can give you what i couldn't. I'm so sorry for not being stronger, more forthcoming about how crazy i was about you. more open, more willing. sometimes when i reminisce it all comes back and my heart is heavy. i am more able to control it now, i don't want to live in fantasy anymore. surely you've moved on. i get the signals that you've sent.
just know i was so fucking scared you'd see past the mask and stumble upon the poison. the emptiness that i was and felt, the sorrow inside my being. just know i'm different now. more stable and sober. less sad. i believe i have a purpose. i imagine if we had met now then maybe there would even be a chance. i just needed this time to heal myself. i've been broken my whole life, then we met and i learned what love could be like. you made me believe i was worthy of something other than pain.
you said i helped you too, and maybe that was our purpose in connecting. i just hope that we find each other again in the next life. my soul needs you.
